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What is it that you want to achieve in life? What do you want out of it? • At 26 I still can’t answer this like an adult. I have a pathetic desire to do everything. I was to design books, I want to represent authors, I want to read, I want to be published, I want to act in theatres, I want to teach, I want to go back to university. • I look at my list and feel so ashamed of my indecisive childishness. Jack of all trades, master of none. No wonder I’m average at everything but accomplished in nothing. The trouble is I love all my ambitions so fiercely I can’t decide which ones to let go of, or prioritise. • This year has taught me how little I am driven by money. What kind of adult gives up a £25k a year job, to take up part-time, minimum wage freelancing work? Not a very sensible one I hear you say. Truth is, whilst it would have gotten me out of debt and given me stability for the first time in my life, it made me so miserable, unwell and anxious that I relapsed into bulimia and felt suicidal again. My happiness and health are worth more than a huge salary. So yes, I choose to be childish, indecisive and poor, but fuck me I’m the happiest I’ve been all year, and I wouldn’t change a thing. . . . . #bookaholic #bookaddict #booklove #instagood #instabooks #bookish #goodreads #bookshelf #bibliophile #literature #bookgeek #education #bookstore #success #bookblogger #motivation #knowledge #words #depression #mentalhealth #anxiety #happy #hope #writersofinstagram #bookstagram
Morning mythical creatures! Hope you’re having s lovely Sunday. I’m going to cry a bit about creating so ignore the post below should you not wish to read it and instead tell me what you’re reading this weekend. • So I can’t help but feel so deflated by not creating engaging content for people, and as much as people say “just create what you want!”, us actually rather create things people want and get something out of. Life is short, I know that personally, so I want to give people something they want to spend their time in and enjoy. • In 24 hours my latest video only had 400 views. I’m angry at myself because I feel like I wasted my time not creating something people would enjoy, when I could have been working on something more people would enjoy if be interested in. My last video took me over three weeks to research and write. I spent 12 hour days on my weekends and every ounce of free time researching it and writing. Filming was a slog (for reasons, I know you all know how that feels), and I had to film it three times. The final shot was done at 12:30 am, after starting at 9:30. Then editing and uploading took 3 hours; but only 400 people were interested. • I don’t see this as “views=money” because I’m hardly living the high life off my £12 a month ad revenue. Views to me however are like a student attendance to a lecture. I did all the prepping in hope students find my research inspiring, helpful or just interesting, but then I find myself reading my paper to a nearly empty lecture theatre. It’s sort of embarrassing, and whilst I can do this for the love of it, I’m a freelancer. I earn just enough to pay my rent and I live off £10 a week for food. I shouldn’t be spending literally weeks worth of time researching for fun when I’m not in the financial position to do so. It sucks, but I think it’ll just be book review videos and chats from now on. . . #ilovebooks #bookaholic #bookaddict #reader #booklove #bookish #booklovers #bookshelf #bibliophile #literature #booknerdigans #bookgeek #bookstagrammer #bookblogger #writing #knowledge #words #student #poetry #poems #shakespe
Happy Saturday mythical creates 📚 just uploaded a new video onto YouTube and now I’m going to spend the rest of my day reading. How are you spending your Saturday? • I’m currently struggling with laryngitis at the moment, whilst also other health issues which I think are related to vitamin B12. I have a horrid feeling the reason not only my hearing loss in one ear (for which I’m getting a hearing aid or implant for), my inability to focus or concentrate, my poor memory and inability to walk (due to excruciating pins and needles and poor blood circulation) are ALL connected to my B12 deficiency. • Vitamin B12 is artificially inseminated into animal fodder, so if you’re a someone who eats animal products you should be ok, but it’s still vital you have your levels checked, as a large majority of omnivores are also deficient in B12. This deficiency can be fatal so it’s essential you get it checked out. • How did I become deficient you ask? Well, for the past 5 years I was taking a supposed B12 supplement which actually didn’t have any B12 in it as described! Now I’m having to try all kinds of B12 options to help overcome my pernicious Anaemia caused by it. Take a supplement people, and make sure you read the ingredients to ensure the source is trustworthy! . . . . #reader #goodreads #books #instabooks #book #booknerd #inspiration #bookish #booklovers #bookshelf #bibliophile #instagood #bookgeek #booknerdigans #bookstagrammer #bookblogger #library #words #writer #ilovereading #writingcommunity #writersofinstagram #readinglist #bookstagram #bokstagrammer #booktube
Poetry is ordinary language raised to the Nth power. Poetry is boned with ideas, nerved and blooded with emotions, all held together by the delicate, tough skin of words. – Paul Engle . I’ve been reading fiction recently but I’ve found it all so disengaging. I’m dying for some knowledge, but I’m too dyslexic to multitask reading and I hate giving up on books. How do you juggle reading more than one book at a time? Share your tips, I beg thee. . . . . . #bookblogger #writing #knowledge #happy #poets #poetrycommunity #poetry #poet #bookstagram #bookshelf #bookish #vintage #booktube #books #booksofinstagram
“Heightened self-consciousness, apartness, an inability to join in, physical shame and self-loathing—they are not all bad...Without them I would never have disappeared into language, literature, the mind, laughter and all the mad intensities that made and unmade me.” — @stephenfryactually . . . . . . #books #bookworm #bookstagram #booknerd #booklover #book #bibliophile #booknerdigans #bookaholic #instabook #reader #bookish #igreads #bookphotography #reading #depression #manicdepression #bipolar
Let’s talk reading slumps —————————— I was on a solid reading roll at the beginning of the year, until my new job kicked in and all the stress and drama happened. A LOT of bad stuff happened there which I can’t talk about for a good year, but because of that business I quickly relapsed back into binge purging and it took a hit to my self-esteem. I want to read so much, books give me a buss of excitement that nothing else in the world does (nothing personal Andrew my love, you give me a buzz too), but literature has a different effect on me. —————————— Yet, when I finally have the chance to read a book my brain goes into slump mode. I find myself thinking “you’re too slow at reading anyway, why bother trying? You’ve already failed at booktube and your PhD ambitions. If you REALLY loved books this wouldn’t be so hard. You’re just a pseudo-intellect who wishes she read like Matilda or Hermione, but you can’t even concentrate on a single page for more than thirty seconds. You’re a fake and a fraud.” ——————————— I feel like my book slump is very much untwined with my insecurities and intellectual inferiority complex. I’m just at a place in my life where I have so little faith in my abilities and myself as a person that I’m not worthy of reading time. Books are too good for me. Have you ever felt like that, or gone through a similar experience? How did you get over it? . . . . . #writingcommunity #youtube #writer #literaryagent #literature #books #booktube #bookstagram #books
NEW BOOKISH VIDEO about my thoughts on @londonbookfair. Link in bio 📚 . . . . . . . . . . #booktube #youtube #style #instagood #book #booknerd #bookaddict #bookaholic #reader #bookish #booklove #goodreads #booknerdigans #bookshelf #booklovers #bookgeek #study #bookblogger
Italian sausage pizza. Thank you @harmoniumbar for giving me the first pizza I’ve had in four years of veganism. By far the best vegan restaurant in Edinburgh, sort of refusing to go anywhere else from now on. Also had an incredible chocolate cheese cake 🐰🍰 . . . . #vegan #foodporn #food #foodie #delicious #organic #plantbased #healthylifestyle #healthyeating #healthyliving #healthychoices #crueltyfree #veganfoodshare #vegansofig #whatveganseat #veganfood #tasty #govegan #veganfood