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I've really been enjoying a dark fairytales mini-night course that I've been taking at the university recently. Working freelance can be very lonely, and studying online is equally as isolating. I missed talking about books with people (be that as a bookseller, booktuber or student) and, to be honest, I'm just lovely in general. I suppose I've always been lonely in some form, but I used to use the internet to make connections with people. But after years of experiencing fake, unkind and disingenuous online relationships, I became more guarded and closed off to people. I think it's time I don't let people from my past taint my view of friendships and start trusting people again. I meet a lot of people and like a lot of people, but get close to very few. I think it's better to keep friendships small and limited in number, but I need to remember that a bad bunch of bananas doesn't mean every banana tastes rotten (that's my attempt to veganise the egg analogy...🍌) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What's your best advice for making friends? How do you tackle loneliness? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#oxfordarchitecture #oxfordshire #spring #architecture #studying #student #oxfordcollege #christchurch #friendship #loneliness #bookstagram #flowers #whatimreading #spring

That awkward moment when you realise a plant could swallow you while and crush you to death were it suddenly to become sentient. What a cruel and ironic fate for a vegan. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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There's an end in sight with one of my projects right now and I'm feeling like I have a little more breathing space for the first time this year. Hopefully that means, if I get my health under control, I'll be able to start reading and filming again without feeling guilty I'm not working enough. This is a photo of the Botanics in Oxfordshire. Whilst there weren't many flowers in bloom when we were in Oxford, the Botanical garden was really pleasant to walk around (Andrew really enjoyed the glass houses). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#oxfordarchitecture #oxfordshire #spring #architecture #gothic #botanicalgardens #chronicstress #flowers #whatimreading #spring

Here's to starting anew ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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#naturelovers #flowerstagram #flora #petal #green #leaf #plants #pretty #landscape #botanical #happy #natural #environment #leaves #outdoor #flowers #spring

Sorry again for no videos this week. I've had an ongoing and painful relationship with YouTube for nearly nine years and I'm still very confused about what I should do. ❌This is not a problem in the real world at all 🙅🏻It's such a privileged issue that it sort of makes me sick to have invested so much emotional thought into it, but some of you may be curious about what I've been thinking about regarding YouTube, so I thought I'd share it for a laugh 🙃
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In all honesty, I don't have a secure enough sense of self to handle the inaccurate judgements from strangers online, nor do I have the self acceptance to like what I hear and see online. I have more sensible reasons to quit YouTube entirely than I have any for continuing, but after nearly nine years it's hard to let go of that part of yourself. However, a few months ago I read that if your focus is on the sunk cost fallacy of something in your life, your motivation for pursuing it is corrupt and you need to move on. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ My rational brain is telling me that I need to admit this is my limit, I gave it one hell of a shot, but it's time to give up and move aside. My irrational brain, however, is begging me to give it one more shot because it's the only outlet I have for talking about books with people and sharing the lessons I've learned with others in the hope they don't make the same mistakes I made. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
🤷🏻‍♀️I don't know. Like I said, not an actual problem in life so it's not worth much thought, but you deserve an explanation for my radio silence on YouTube so here it is. Thanks for reading and thanks for any feedback any of you have to offer. Much love ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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My uncle invited Andrew and I to stay the night in this wonderful old castle in Stirling a month ago. Stunning interior and such friendly staff who really accommodated my cousin and I with our awkward diets (I.e a vegan and a gluten-free vegan 😂)
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#castle #springinscotland #scotland #explorescotland @discover.scotland #stirling #summer #history #architecture #travelvlog

Happy World Bunny day 🐰I'm begging for my brain to boot itself into work mode because motivation to work is waning. But here's a pretty picture of Oxford Botanical Gardens which reminded me of Mr McGregor's garden. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What are you up to this Sunday?
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April 2018. I have such fond memories of our little getaway to Aberdeen for our anniversary. This year, we're taking our anniversary getaway a little later because of work commitments; but let's hope it's as hot and sunny in June as it was in Aberdeen in April last year 🌻☀️
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What are you reading this weekend? I'm reading The Garden of the Finzi-Continis ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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